“If you’ve got pain, He’s a pain taker
If you feel lost, He’s a way maker
If you need freedom or saving, He’s a prison-shaking Savior
If you got chains, He’s a chain breaker.” Zach Williams song
Some days I feel lost, not lost as in unsaved, but lost as in, lost my way, lost sight of my purpose, why God has put me here for such a time as this. What am I supposed to be doing for Him? Some days it seems so unclear, and I’m not a baby Christian and I’m not so young any more either. I am in my “semi later” years.
But I’ll confess, much of my Christian life hasn’t seen me living wholly for God’s will, no, I still wanted some things…but now, after learning (finally!) that those things won’t make me happy, well, I want to use my remaining time here on the planet being wholly engaged in what God wants me to do in such a time as we do indeed live. I want to hear “Well done, thou good and faithful servant” when I see Him face to face.
I will also confess to reading the bible, and I see that some of the great people of faith didn’t hit their high spots until 80 years of age!! That is astonishing to me. The ones I speak of are guys like Moses, who after ascertaining the will of God for his life at a younger age, blew it and killed a guy, then ran into the wilderness to stay there for 40 years before God spoke to him and still wanted him to do what he originally thought he was to do; he just went about it the wrong way. Or, take Joshua and Caleb, who were ready at 40 years of age to go into the Promised Land and had faith to do it. The only problem was, they were outnumbered by the ones who decided they couldn’t do it, and I guess it was gonna take everyone to do it, so they had to stay back and wait until God could get a group together (the kids) who would have the faith to do it. Moses, Joshua and Caleb got to be the leaders of that group and I suspect they taught and trained them in the ways of God for that 40 years that they had to wait it out.
Joseph was 17 when he went into prison and thirty when he came out and then was made a ruler in Egypt. He was 30 when he went on the throne, basically, which is young. He may have been the exception to the rule…he had dreams as a very young boy which portended his future, which was to save Israel from starvation. He actually saw his future, but the exact meaning of the dreams were hidden from him at that time.
I’m a writer, there’s no doubt about that, but right now I write blogs and books that very few read. I write for a newspaper that very few read (at the moment anyway). Of course, I could be like Jeremiah, whom God told not to marry, not to have kids, and His will is that Jeremiah do something that everyone will reject and hate you for. Oh, and they will try to kill you too. Talk about discouraging! I guess it could be worse!
I love what I’m doing. But there are days…that the fruit doesn’t seem to appear, you know, the results, the effects, seeing God use my words and my writing to affect change. Of course, change can be very subtle, hidden, and perhaps why we do this by faith. Because there’s something on the inside that drives me to do what I do, even if I don’t see instant, or even short term results. I can’t see ahead and God so far isn’t showing me where we are going, even though scripture says He will show you things to come. Sometimes He’s quiet, even silent, on some matters. I see other prayers answered though. And I see connections with people made supernaturally, things I couldn’t have done on my own. I see God ordering my steps when I don’t even know it. I see God providing. Right now, I am waiting for a certain provision. It will come, I have no doubt about that. A recent prayer of mine took about a year to come about. People were involved.
Our country and government is a mess. My family was not a military family, but my uncle served in the navy for, I think, one term. Going into the military was never an option presented to us as children. After getting saved, I have often felt like I had never made a sacrifice for the country and have often felt sorry that I had not. Well, I guess I have found my place in the “war” now. It certainly feels that way. It’s all hands on deck if the country and our republic is to be saved.