Weird title for a post, right? Well, not if you have been steeped in deep dark sin, and then find yourself delivered and brought into the light of God’s truth. It is the truth…I am an idiot without God. My life before Christ is proof.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. That’s the way I lived my life for several years….until I started paying attention….until I started realizing I was doing something wrong, until I realized the pain and frustration wasn’t ending in my life. My existence was always full of drama and upheaval. I wasn’t getting the results in life that I wanted. Why was that? Is your life like that? Does the thing you want most in life seem to never come your way? There’s a reason for that.

Because I lived by my own wits and what I wanted to do and did not seek God’s ways, I was doomed to fail. The bible even says that’s how your life ends up. I am so, so, very grateful that God caught my attention at a relatively young age. I was 27 with two failed marriages under my belt when I began to seek Him. I had no children, although I wanted them badly. I shudder to think what their lives would have been like had I been granted my wish.

I began to figure out something was very wrong. I began to realize something was wrong with my own choices. I started to “look up,” to seek God. It was during my second marriage that was so full of drama and drugs that I began to realize God was the only person who could save us. And so the search began.

Because the man I was with at the time drank and drugged, I qualified for Al-Anon, a support group for families of alcoholics. This was the beginning of my spiritual search and relationships with those who understood and could help restore me to sanity.

A person who drinks and drugs and does their own thing after a while becomes at least somewhat incapacitated mentally. Rational choices were not my strong suit at the time. That’s why I say I’m an idiot without God.

The main difference between animals and humans is that humans have been given the ability to to make choices and to have rational thought, to reason things out. But when a human only acts on instinct and their own will, and ignores God, they become like animals, in my opinion. At least that’s what I believe I was on some level. I acted on instinct and will, according to my emotions.

I have a friend who is very thoughtful and deliberate. She reasons things out and decides if she wants to do something, if she is willing to endure the consequences of doing a thing. Before salvation, this was foreign thinking to me. I was like, act now, think later! She is a person I admire.

The other day, I said to God, I need your mind, I need your thoughts, I need you every minute and all the time. I need you in every decision I make. Today, I watch people’s behaviors and how they are so sure of their thoughts and opinions. I marvel at how human beings are so sure of their opinions! I don’t think I could ever be that sure again. Unless God tells me something in my heart, I’m not ever very sure of anything about anybody!

I am more thoughtful and quiet today. (Some may say, not quiet enough!) I am less of a know-it-all; perhaps some is still there. But I know I need God. And I think that is the important thing, I KNOW I NEED Him. All the time, helping me, every day, in everything I do, in every decision I make, and in everything I write. I need light from His Spirit Who lives inside of me, showing me the right path to take..

The world is a dark and dangerous place. You can have His light inside of you too. You can know His peace in this crazy world. You can have security in this dangerous world. His peace passes all understanding. It is based on the security He offers us through faith in Him, His love, and the promises in His word.

I heard this today. Someone said “I can guarantee you, that if I handed you a thick book from the richest man on the earth, a billionaire, and said, everything in this book belongs to you, that you would search that book out, you would read everything in it to find out what belongs to you.” Friends, we have such a book. It’s called the bible.

Dear Jesus: We need you, even when we don’t think we do. The world is not our friend. We must have Truth. We must have Your Light. We love You, Jesus, and we thank You for the great sacrifice You made on our behalf to set us free. Lead us every day, even when we don’t know it’s You. We will praise You and worship You as the Lord of our lives.